By Miissttii,

As a transgender woman with a learning disability and autism, I think it’s really important for me and other transgender people to be free to express our identity in any way we choose. This is my message; it’s what I want to tell people.

Working out my identity has definitely been a journey and not always an easy one. There have been some good moments and plenty of difficult ones too. Telling my parents and family that I was transgender was one of the tougher moments for sure. It took them some time to adjust, but they accept me for who I am now and support me.

Out on the street, people would stare at me and call me names and I can’t deny that this has upset me and knocked my confidence.

Growing up, I felt I was a girl trapped in a boy’s body and I didn’t know there was anything that could be done about it. I felt scared coming out to friends at school, I felt afraid how they would judge me. It was only when I was at college that I made the discovery that turned my life around: that it was possible for a man to transition into a woman. Just knowing that changed everything. A whole new world had opened up to me, one I’d been yearning for since early childhood. It was as if I’d been set free, like a butterfly.

 

I started dressing in feminine clothes and looked forward to becoming a woman. I’d experiment with different styles, trying out different ways to enhance my femininity. Some days, for example, I’d dress like a punk. At other times, I’d model my look on female popstars like Mariah Carey, Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, Christina Aguilera, Beyonce and Leona Lewis.

I was being the me that felt true, the me I’d always wanted to be, but there was a price to pay for that. Out on the street, people would stare at me and call me names and I can’t deny that this has upset me and knocked my confidence. For a while now I haven’t dressed like my favourite artists because of the reactions I get; nor have I been going out as much as I would like to.

But now we’re coming out of lockdown I want to go out more into the community and meet people from the LGBTQ+ community, people who are like me and who I can talk to and feel safe and comfortable with. That way I can get my confidence back.

And I’d love to make YouTube videos about my journey as a Disabled transgender woman, the way I’ve got out there more and challenged perceptions of gender identity. I want to make music videos with my own lyrics to get across my message and help others understand it’s ok for anyone to be transgender; it’s not up to anyone else.

I can’t change who I am and I should never have to, but others can change their view of people and the world. Let’s push for acceptance and for being who you really are.

In any case, there are positives in the negatives. When people are abusing me for how I’m dressed, I feel a certain strength because I know I’m being brave enough to be who I want to be.

This is the strength I want to build on to help other transgender people develop the confidence to be themselves, including in the community, which should be a space where everyone is treated equally. There is no “normal”; we are all different and that’s what makes the world a great place.

I can’t change who I am and I should never have to, but others can change their view of people and the world. Let’s push for acceptance and for being who you really are.